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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 30 year old daughter was a successful vet. tech, had a beautiful

Customer Question

My 30 year old daughter was a successful vet. tech, had a beautiful car, friends, nice clothes. She met a man who lied to her and talked her into leaving. She never married him, but had a daughter. After 5 years of abuse, she left the house she bought, and everything in it and moved herself and her daughter back to my house. Bad life decisions have lost her everything. She was foreclosed on her house, owes everyone, has no money of her own. She applied to college and is taking pre req courses for radiology. She got health care and food stamps for her and her daughter. Trying to get back on track. Recently, I discovered she has been using my bank card and spent several hundred dollars of my money. My husband is disabled and receives SS. I lost my job and got only a part time one. We are struggling to make ends meet and support her and her daughter. She lied for quite some time about taking the money, but I got her to admit it by telling her if I report it as illegal use of my card the police will get involved. I dont want to hurt her but she twists everything I say. She makes me feel like an idiot if I say anything about her behaviour. She talks of how she is the one who lost everything. I am afraid of her, I love her and fear if she leaves her daughter will have nothing. I feel so trapped and depressed about having no contorl of our lives anymore. What can I do????
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your daughter. She is trying to manipulate you and you cannot stand for any manipulation. She moved into your house. You are helping her stay on her feet for her well being and the well being of her daughter. One thing is that you should not have to live in fear. It may be time to tell your daughter that she must move out because of the emotional abuse that you have experienced from her. Your daughter may try to take all that you have and you will be left with nothing. You must regain control. Tell your daughter what you expect. If she cannot live up to your household expectations, she must find another place to live. She is trying to control you in the way that her controlling boyfriend did to her.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
My concerns about forcing her hand to leave here is her daughter. The father is useless and not responsible enough to raise a 4 year old girl. Plus his parenting skills are about as good as his other relationship skills. If I could garantee my granddaughter's future safety, I would have no problem tossing my daughter out.
My granddaughter is the real victim here.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
If you are worried about kicking your daughter out and that may not be the best option, then contact your local Department of Child and family Services. Explain your situation and they can refer you to low cost or no cost counseling services which you and your daughter need. It sounds like you really want to get along. It would be worth the effort you both need guidance and direction.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.

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