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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I have a three year old daughter who is incredibly smart. However,

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I have a three year old daughter who is incredibly smart. However, she has an awful temper. I am constantly fighting with her to get her to do anything and she goes crazy if she doesn't get her own way.

She has started to grab my clothing and shake with anger and has outbursts of screaming bad words at me like they are burning her throat on the way up!

Any advice?
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that your daughter is manifesting. Does she attend pre school? Is there a new baby in the house? Are both parents residing in the home? Have there been any recent life changes for your daughter? Thanks!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.



No, she was not accepted for nursery because she has a September Birthday, but she can go next September.

No new baby - we're trying to conceive but don't talk to her about it.

Her biological dad lives 60 miles away but takes her to his mums every other weekend. This has been the norm since she was 3 months old and she is settled in this routine and knows what weekends she is going and what weekends she isn't.

My partner and I are her main carers and she's a happy child - most of the time!

No major life changes apart from my partner losing his job, but that was two weeks ago and Ellie has seemed angry for the last 3 months or so.



Hello and Thank You for responding. What you need to do when your daughter has a tantrum or wants her way is to bend down to her eye level and firmly tell her No or Stop It. Then tell her what you expect from her in place of the behavior that she is displaying. Then walk away. Her negative behavior does not need attention. When you discipline your daughter, the goal is to teach.

What you need to do instead is to create a behavior chart for each day of the week. When she is behaving really well and you catch her being good, she gets a sticker on that day. The stickers should be really special stickers of things that interest your daughter. When she behaves well, REALLY praise her. After receiving 10 stickers, she gets a special treat or a special outing. The stickers do not have to be received on consecutive days. Then after several weeks of improved behavior, you can bump up the number to 15. The goal is to replace the bad behavior with more appropriate behavior. Children will often change in their ways when they know that they will somehow be rewarded. It works well at this age so give it a try.

Have a great day!
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