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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Having difficulty with my 13yr old son. He has been extremely

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Having difficulty with my 13yr old son. He has been extremely forgetful for some time now. Example would be leaving his homework project at home, forgetting his basketball uniform in the car, simple tasks around the house. My wife and I have tried reasoning with him, creating lists and reminders, punishments but nothing seems to work. He gets upset with himself and claims to be trying his best to remember everything he needs to do but can't seem to get it together.

I feel that maybe we have created too large of a safety net as he never faces the consequences of his forgetfulness. As an example, I drove his project to school, same for his uniform.

He's an only child who otherwise is very successful. Straight A's, star athlete and extremely popular.
What do you suggest we do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. What grade is your son? Is this his first year in high school? About how long specifically has he been so forgetful? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He's in middle school, 8th grade. This is his third year at this school.
He's been forgetful for several years now but it seems to be increasing. There is just about something he forgets everyday. My wife and I are extremely frustrated with this. We are often yelling at him and have just about lost all faith in his promises to do better.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. Does your son only manifest this behavior at home with both parents? Have teachers or coaches mentioned anything?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
No one else has noticed anything but I think its because we always save the day. Yesterday he left his project at home, I drove it to school.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 4 years ago.
Hello again. Your son's forgetfulness is simply a part of how the teen age mind works in the teen age years. His forgetfulness is part of his lack of ability to remember to prioritize things. He has many distractions in his life with sports, school, friends, etc. He knows that if he forgets something at home, it will be brought to school for him. When he leaves the houses daily, you must ask him does he have everything. If he forgets something, stop enabling him to be so reliable on you to drive his belongings up to the school. That is a huge part of the problem.. He knows that mom or dad will come to the rescue no matter what he forgets. Once you stop taking his things up to school that he forgets, he will soon realize that he needs to be more responsible. Additionally, many teen age boys go through thus odd change from about the end of seventh grade to the beginning of tenth grade. They seem to have difficulties pulling everything together. So do not continue to be frustrated. Your son's actions fall within the normal range of teen age behavior. At least he get good grades. Just ease up on him a bit and stop catering to his forgetfulness so that the responsibility falls on him.

Have a great day.
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