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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 8 year old daughter lied to me today very convincibley.

Customer Question

My 8 year old daughter lied to me today very convincibley. We had about 10 children and 12 adults at our house last night after a Trunk or Treat activity at her school.

This morning, my daughter pointed out that someone had cut one our dog’s hair. (Her Dog that we rescued from a Golden Retriever shelter about a month ago.)

She was so convincing that she didn’t do it, that I started calling all of the parents whose kids were here to ask them if they cut the dogs hair. There is no damage to the dog other than he has horizontal Mohawk.


She finally admitted to doing it.

I am going to make her call or write all her friends and admit that she was the one that did it. She does not want to do that because she is so embarrassed now.

I told her she is grounded for the next 3 days from any kind of screens – TV, Computer, DS, etc. She cried and cried and said she should be grounded for 6 weeks. I explained to her that she was not grounded for cutting the dogs hair, but for lying to me.

Is this behavior normal? Before today, I was able to spot her fibs right away and dealt with them.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about your daughter's dishonesty. About how long has this behavior been occurring? Does she lie at school as well? Does she have many friends? Is she an only child? Do both parents reside in the home? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

This is the first time for a lie of this magnitude. She is the picture of a "pleasure to have her in class" from her teachers from Kindergarten to now - (3rd grade). She is not lying at school that I know of. I keep in contact with her teacher since there have been some instances of her being bullied this year. We are working on that.

 

She is an only child. Both her dad and I have been together 16 years. (Married for 14). We had Hannah late in life - I was 39, and my husband was 38. Neither of us have been married before or had children before. We live in a small house, but in a great nieghborhood and school district. I'm wondering if she is somehow trying to get our attention? For gosh sakes, she gets a lot of attention!

 

Let me know what you think.

 

Thanks so much!

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
YES YES YES! Your daughter definitely enjoys the attention from lying although it is negative attention. Some children lie just to see if they can get away with it. Others lie just to get a reaction from their parents. It sounds like you have a wonderful daughter and that you are raising her well. However, she may have picked up her lying habit from friends at school, television, or just about anywhere. However, just continue to stress the importance of honesty. Tell her that lying children may grow up to be lying adults that could end up in jail. Even tell her about juvenile hall for kids who are extremely disobedient. You want to put a little fear into her mind about the extreme consequences of lying. Nonetheless if she is lying to get attention, ask her why she lies. She will probably respond with "I don't know." Then you can ask her if there is anything in her life that she wishes was different or anything that she is not happy about. Ask her if there is anything different that she wishes her parents could do . Just see what her thoughts are if she wishes to share them. Her lying is hopefully just a brief stage.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

LOL The only thing she has ever said, is that she wishes for a sibling. Yeah right, I'm 47. Not going to happen. Then she says, "well, I could use an older sister"

 

Anyway, Thank you for your advice. I will sit her down tomorrow after school and follow your advice. I have recently lost my job, but the good thing is that I am here to pick her up from school, instead of "Adventure Club" which is after school. I think she is picking up a lot things there as well as at Recess.

 

Thanks again!

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Sorry about your job loss. I am sure that your daughter will change her ways sooner than later especially limiting her time at Adventure Club. Let me know if you need further assistance anytime. Thank you and have a great week.

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