Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Your daughter is under a great deal of stress as she is about to enter adulthood. She feels a struggle and is torn between leaving the teen age years behind and entering the unknown of attending college and taking on many adult responsibilities. Since she refuses seeking counseling, then all you can do is to talk with her and let her know that you love her and will always be there to support her. Give her the space that she needs now. Try not to be overbearing or else that will push her even further away. You cannot make her change. She has to want to change. When the college application process dies down in a few months, she will have more time on her hands and may want to see a counselor then. In the meantime, offer her support, tell her that you will not tolerate disrespectful behavior and if she does act disrespectfully, XXXXX XXXXX Limit time with friends, take away her computer, cell phone etc. Additionally, see if there is a counselor at school that will talk to her about her stress and anxiety.
Hope this helps!!!! Have a great day!!!