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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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m a stay at home mom of an 11 month old baby boy. His tantrums

Resolved Question:

'm a stay at home mom of an 11 month old baby boy.

His tantrums has gotten out of control. Nothing is easy anymore.  My days are devoted to him but I'm just not managing to stay in control of anything.

My son is a busy boy and won't sit still for anything.

I can't change his nappy
I can't get him into the pram
I can't get him to stay in the pram

He has the biggest tantrums. I try never give in but he is strong and I don't wanna drop him.

Going on the bus is a nightmare and has become dangerous.  His goal is to get away from me in the bus and stand and grab things. If the bus stops suddenly he will get hurt.  He does not cry but fights with all his strengh the entire time. My arms wanna fall off after a bus trip.  I live in hong kong and have no choice but to take the bus.

My baby vampire has also become a bad biter (only me) the more I say no the funnier it gets for him.

He is draining me! I'm starting to think he might be hyper.

This is his routine

5am wake sleep with me till 6am
6:00 bottle
6:10 play with me
8:00 go to the park with me
9:00 cereal + milk
9:30 nap time
10:30 play with friends or outside
12:30 lunch
2:00 bottle nap
3:00 go out to do something fun with me
5:30 bath
6:00 dinner
7:00 bottle sleep.

He gets zero junk or sugar. 
He eats very well and sleeps well to.

Please help me Get some sort of control over my baby.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your son. Boys can be very active. It seems as though he is more curious about the world. Do you ever use the word "NO" in a stern voice? What do you do when he misbehaves currently? Does your son think his behavior is amusing? Thanks!!!
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes, I say No in a stern voice and take him away and try interest him in something els. With putting him in the pram I say no and continue trying. Nappy - I gave up. I now change him while he is standing. He does understand no and does listen for some other things but never for the above things. He just hates sitting still.
He does sometimes think my no is amusing but only for small things like touching the remote. I try only say no for big things and his response is an immediate full on tantrum.

He is very busy and has a very strong will.

He is starting to walk now and I'm scared things are gonna get worse if I don't do something.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
How long has he been acting this way? Have there been any major recent life stressors for you or him?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for responding. You obviously have a very strong willed child and honestly there is not a great deal you can do at this point but DO NOT GIVE IN. You have to be consistent and persistent no matter how stressful. Your son is having tantrums because he does not know how to express himself and his frustration. Give him words. Even at your son's age, children can sense your emotions and feelings. When at home, and your son has a tantrum, walk away. Just leave the room and your son will get bored in throwing a tantrum if he does not have the attention. He only wants to control the situation with his tantrum. You are not a bad parent and your son is not a bad child. Just relax and breathe. If you need to, install a child gate so that you can leave your child in his room when you walk away. When you are in public and your child acts up, grab his arm firmly and tell him "NO". You need to get down on his level and look directly into his eyes focused on his face. You need to have a stern look. That way, your son is less likely to mock you or laugh at you.

 

Your son needs your direction through both positive affirmation and negative consequences. Your son needs to learn and associate "NO" with discomfort. I do not advocate spanking, but a tight squeeze of the arm or a pinch while in public gets his attention to settle down and that you mean business.

 

Do not give up. You have the power to change your son. He is still young!!!

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