How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Patience Your Own Question

Patience, Child Therapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 291
Experience:  MA Clinical Psychology; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills trainer
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Patience is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I would like to know if the behavior

Customer Question

I have 2 children one 10 (female) & one 13 (male). Both of my children, especially my
daughter talk to their father & myself in a very disrespectfull manner. They have such an attitude of self entitlement. My husband & I try hard to be consistant with what we expect of
them but he isn't as strict as I am which I know is a problem. We have tried time outs, tried
taking away electronic time or TV ( which we monitor anyway), no get togethers with fri-
ends, lectures .... We have had many fights lately and now my son is threatening to fail in school just to show us who is boss. I am worn out, what areyour thoughts?

I would like to know if the behavior I described is considered normal at ages 10 & 13. Also what are your thoughts about how I should deal with my childrens behavior. I'm getting more concerned about my son's behavior because he says he doesn't want to be around me. My daughter just says whatever she feels with such attitude. Dori
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Patience replied 4 years ago.

The behavior is fairly normal--especially for the teenager. And trust me, it will probably not be the last time they are angry with you or say they don't like you. That is also fairly typical. On the one hand, parents need to have a thick skin. On the other hand, it is important to still expect a certain level of politeness and respect.

Try to do fun things together—as a family and with each child separately. Hug them and tell them you love them for no reason at all. Believe it or not, most children do grow out of that surly stage.

Important principles of child management include:

  1. Consequences should be sure and swift--punishment must be provided immediately in order to gain effective control over inappropriate behaviors.
  2. Consequences should be specific- Both praise and criticism should refer to the specific behaviors. Punishment should fit the transgression and not be based on the parents' level of impatience or frustration.
  3. Consequences should be consistent across settings, time, and caregivers. So you and your husband need to come to a meeting of minds. Choose a time to discuss this when you are alone together and in a good mood with one another.
  4. Catch your children being good and give them treats. Many parents focus on a child’s negative behavior. As a result, punishment is over- emphasized in family interactions. When this happens, punishment tends to lose its effectiveness, particularly if there are no clearly stated devoid of incentives for appropriate conduct.
  5. Plan ahead for problem behaviors- Discussing and anticipating those situations which are likely to create problems, will help you and your husband develop plans to deal with and reduce the probability of misbehavior.
This will give you a start. Please let me know if I can help further, and submit further questions if needed. Good luck, Mom!
Expert:  Patience replied 4 years ago.
Hi- If my response gave you a good start on working with your situation, please press the green ACCEPT button so that I can get credit for my time. I will be happy to continue this dialogue as needed, as well..

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Cher's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
  • Jennifer's Avatar


    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • professional_Alison's Avatar


    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye


    Satisfied Customers:

    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
  • Eveningstargazer's Avatar


    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Related Parenting Questions