How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question

proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
49595756
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
proexpert37 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been in contact with a family for 4 years My 73 year

Customer Question

I have been in contact with a family for 4 years My 73 year old friend had to take in her son and his daughter and stepson the mother off these children has been deemed unfit by the courts and never see the kids or calls them. They were in counselling by the local authority for two years they said that the children were ok at the end of this time.
The boy is 12 and lies about everything to the point that if you ask him a question you know he is going to lie, he sneaks around in the middle of night getting into my friends personal stuff he breaks things he knows she loves, both children are asked to do chores at the weekend he has broken 7 vacuum cleaners in 4 years in the hope he will not asked to do his chores. The latest thing is stealing he stole one of his friends mothers ipod said he found it after hiding it in his back pack for a week, my friend can not afford any more counseling for him they have tried taking privileges away from him but nothing seems to work. Please can you give me some advice as I fear for my friends health. The father of these children is unemployed at moment and is attending the University of Phoenix to get a more up to date computer degree.
away from him but nothing seems to work
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that your friend is having. The son obviously knows right from wrong. Therefore, he is receiving a great deal of negative attention for his behavior. Now it is time to flip the script and try something completely different. A behavior contract needs to be implemented for each day of the week. It should list the behaviors that your friend wants the son to manifest.

Example: M. T. W. Th. Fri. Sat. Sun....

1. I will not take things from anyone that do not belong to me.
2. I will not sneak around the house at night.
3. I will tell the truth to all individuals.
4. I will treat others' belongings with care and respect........etc., etc.

Then review the list each day with the son. At the end of the day, he initials each behavior that he completed successfully. Then at the end of the week, review the contract. If he had a great week, he needs to be rewarded with a social treat or outing. The focus here is to teach him to be more accountable for his own behavior and to focus more on his positive behavior. This process will not happen overnight. It may take weeks or months but be persistent, consistent, and patient. Of course he may still misbehave here and there so limit all of his fun things and activities. His good behavior charts will enable him to earn them back. Additionally if he attends a public school, there should be a counselor or psychologist at school at least once a week that he can meet with for free. Contact the school office to see what types of services are available.

Hope this provided you with some insight. Have a great day.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
1`q`They have already tried the above but he lied about that too. His mother was a pathological lire and he learned from her, to him I think it is survival he says whatever he thinks you want to hear
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello...Thank you for responding. If the above mentioned ideas have already been tried, then your best bet is to contact the school counselor or psychologist. He/she can steer one in the right direction personally or give additional references even for free to low cost services. Your choices are very limited and that is probably the best one. He needs on going counseling to help him learn intervention strategies to change his ways. Also, contact your local police or sheriff station. Oftentimes, they have programs for at risk youth.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
proexpert37
proexpert37
Educator
702 Satisfied Customers
Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor