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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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i am feeling really confused about my sons father and their

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i am feeling really confused about my son's father and their relationship. we are divorced, my son is now 21. he's always paid support, but never showed much interest in him over the years. only under the obligated situations, christmas, day. etc. his mother lives right next door to us (my son's other grandmother) he has never said much to me about how he feels but i wonder if he is hurt by the lack of parenting offered. never made a xmas program, barely any of his sports, but he coaches his daugher's team, (yes he remarried and had a daughter) i try making comments that he is gonna loose him and regret this one day but it doesnt sink in . he won't even talk to me when i bring this stuff up. how can you not be interested in your son and ask about school, he didn't even offer to plan or be involved bdays, doesn't hang with him, barely calls, my son doesn't even feel he can ask for 20 bucks, but he can ask me for 100! it's sad and i'm really feeling sick over this. should i stay out of it and let him handle his relationship with his dad and see for himself?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. How long have you been divorced?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
since 93. sorry, i logged off, i waited for a reply for quite some time.. i finally logged off.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Unfortunately, you can not change your ex husband. He has his own personal reasons for not wanting to be involved with his son. There is nothing that you can do about it. What you can do is to help your son. Have him go to counseling to discuss his feelings. He may have repressed anger issues that need to be addressed from a neutral third part. He seems to have functioned fairly normally without the presence of his dad. It may just hurt you more than him because he has learned to just accept it. Try not to be too emotionally caught up in the issue. Just concentrate on you continue to do your part for your son.

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