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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I live with my girlfriend and her 3 year old son. There is

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I live with my girlfriend and her 3 year old son. There is a custody battle going on at the moment and the boy has limited visitation with his father.

I understand he is 3 but he has been whining a lot more lately. He also tends to try about every little thing and I mean EVERY little thing. I think he believes it is ok to whine and cry about everything and that will get what he wants. What is your take on that?

Also, sometimes for no reason he scream " leave me alone to him" although I am just minding my own business. Other times he is sweet to me and wants me to play with him.

Hello..How long has this behavior been going on?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
This behavior started when the issues started between mother and father.

Background: Father was watching child during day ( they were not living together) When we got together I told her that was not acceptable so she put the child in daycare. A domestic violence charge later and retraining order... and he started to act this way as visitation with his father because much less frequent. Lately he has been asking for his father at random times..usually when he gets in trouble. Apparently, from what he tells us, there is little or lack of discipline when he visits his father once per week. Child says father does put him in timeout..etc.

It is reasonable to assume that when the child goes over there he does what he wants so when he comes home to us he is conflicted?
Yes...the child is receiving mixed messages. He is probably allowed to behave one way at daycare, another with his dad, and another way with you. There is probably little to no consistency in rules and consequences and therefore he is frustrated. The whining all the time needs to be kept under control by all parties involved in his life. The dad and mom especially must try to get on the same page when it comes to discipline. They must communicate otherwise the young child will only get worse.
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