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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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looking to talk to someone who is experienced with, or at least

Resolved Question:

looking to talk to someone who is experienced with, or at least "pro" cosleeping. Thank you!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello...Do you have a specific question?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I have a specific question, but there is no need to type it out until I'm sure I'm talking to someone who isn't an isolated sleeping advocate. Thank you
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Please type in your question. It will be directed to the correct person.Laughing
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Ok. Well I have one son who just turned 5. He has an easier time falling asleep and feels more comfortable at night when he is co sleeping in our bed. Then I have a 2 year old (will be 3 next month) who falls asleeep better and stays asleep fine all night when he is sleeping in his own bed. I have a 1 year old who also sleeps in our room.

So I worry that the 2 year old will feel left out and I'm not sure what to do. He never says anything about it to indicate that he cares one way or the other- but one night he said "why can't i sleep in your room." And I told him that it was because he sleeps very well in his own bed and is comfortable there. He hasn't said anything since. On a rare occassion in the past- such as once during a lightening storm when he was afraid to go to bed - he came in my room to sleep. He stays up all night and can't get settled. He is pretty much the same in a hotel room- but in his own bed he goes right to sleep and stays there all night.

More information is -- The 2 have a room that they share with twin beds and we have tried having them go to sleep together in that room in the past- but my older son either keeps the younger one up for an extra hour or more or gets very upset that he is the only one awake when the younger one falls asleep. For a while he did go to sleep in there but the arrangement was very hard for him. He would lie awake in bed for a really long time after going in there and would worry about all kinds of stuff. When we let him just fall asleep in our room he gets to sleep much earlier and doesn't have this anxiety filled couple of hours. I don't think cosleeping is inherently wrong so it is fine with me if he sleeps in our room. The only issue I have in respect to it is being fair to my younger son.

Anyway- I want to do what is best for each child without having the other feel left out.
Any suggestions?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. You just do whatever you feel is right for your family situation. If your entire family sleeps in the same room, then so be it. The 2 year old is feeling left out because the entire family is sleeping together in one room. You have two choices....either try to get the 5 year old back to his bed or have the 2 year old come along with the rest of the family which may be the easiest choice for now.Laughing
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Oh no that isn't quite it.My husband has been sleeping in the other room with the 2 year old so it isn't the whole family in one room and him in the other. I'm fine with that for now as I can use the break from the snoring. Also, I'm not even sure the 2 year old feels left out as he has only mentioned it once and not in a way that sounded upset- but just in a matter of fact way. So I don't want to upset the arrangement that he seems to feel very comfortable with unless he truly is upset but is just not expressing it. I guess what I want to do is find out if it bothers him, and as you know with a 2 year old it isn't as easy as just asking them. The 2 year old doesn't sleep well when he is in the same bed with other people such as in a hotel room- he stays awake really late and cries that he isn't in his own bed at home.
Basically everyone seems very happy and is sleeping well right now- but if the 2 year old is actually feeling something negative about it but just not expressing it then I want to know and change things. The problem is knowing whether or not he cares.
Thanks for your time answering!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
It sounds as though the 2 year old is fine as he falls asleep easily by himself in his own room. Keep the sleeping situation as it is. If the 2 year old had negative feelings, his night time routine would be a disaster. He seems perfectly adjusted now.Laughing
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