Thank you for your kind answer. I guess what you advise is right and best. But I am in shock because I am scared what my ex did to me, my son will do as well and all these mis deeds will get swept under the carpet. For eg. My ex promised to marry me if I got pregnant and he did not. Instead he forced me to go for an abortion. Then when I insisted on talking to his parents, his mother urged him to get married. So getting married for the wrong reason - it was stressful at the best of times - for 20 years. I did not trust him at all and he did all he could to encourage my mis-trust. Secondly he made someone else sit his university exam for him and it was all minimised as a joke. I am scared that if I dont address this matter with my son, in some shape of form and let him know this is not alright, he will continue to do worse things. I know I may have a bit unrealistic values which may not be street smart - but I am very shocked. Your kind words has meant a lot to me. I have asked my ex to meet with me today to discuss this. Could you please advise how I can put it nicely to him that regardless of whatever differences we may have we need to stand on the same ground on parenting issues. Although even though I tell him that and am fully committed to that, I barely believe that he will stand up to his part of the bargain. Please advice. Thank you heaps for your help.