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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My husband and I separated in February and sadly by May our

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My husband and I separated in February and sadly by May our daughter was subjected to him holding hands and kissing another woman who he had told was just a friend so that our daughter could play with hers. For months now, he has not bought a bed for our 7 yr old daughter and she has had to sleep with him in his bed.
My daughter is still having to see this lady and her daughter even though he has said they are not having a relationship because he has told her he doesn't want her to get bored and this was the exact reason he told her they were going on holiday together to Turkey. She has actually mentioned to me on numerous occasions that she doesn't want to be pushed into that relationship and hates having to travel an hour and half to go and see them. As for the holiday in Turkey, they have been away now for 7 days and my daughter took with her a mobile phone because she wanted to call me and her half brother and sister whilst she was away, but I knew full well my ex would not allow her to phone. 7 days on she hasn't phoned...its not just me but my two other children are really upset by it. He was their "Dad" for 8 years but he dropped them as soon as he left and his actions are still upsetting them.. Is there anything I can do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Jordan1314 : Have you tried counseling for your daughter?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Do you feel like there is neglect going on?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I don't think she requires counselling, I was asking more on the parenting side of things if there was anything I could do. I am the main carer for our daughter and I wanted if there was anything I could do i,e stop him seeing her until his attitude changes or reduce his time with her ??? I do allow him to see her quite a bit but I do not want her going just to come home upset

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I do feel there is neglect.. I feel he his putting his needs/wishes before those of our daughter
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Are there court orders on place as to specified visitations?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

No there are no court orders. I agreed with him initially that he could have her on a Tue eve, then Fri eve through to Sun eve and then the following Thu eve and so on. My solicitor who is putting together my divorce petition has said that he is having more than reasonable access to her.

Hence, me questioning whether or not I could reduce it?

 

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
If possible, you should reduce the time that your daughter spends with her dad until he so called gets his act together. It verges on emotional abuse of having another woman around already in the life of your daughter. Also, it is neglect that she does not have a bed. She should not be sleeping in the same bed as her dad at the age of 7. Whoever is working on your divorce case, explain how you want to decrease the visitation time. It is questionable if her dad can adequately parent your daughter. He seems to be more concerned about this new woman. The well being of your daughter should come first. As her mom, make sure that you continue to provide love and support and the proper guidance for your daughter. Never bad mouth her dad in front of her no matter how bad things are. You cannot change her dad. Hopefully you can get some things established in court or through mediation but be prepared...sometimes these court cases drag on for years when one parent is really stubborn.
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