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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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Disclosing news of baby to teenage sons from former marriage

Resolved Question:

I need advice on disclosing to my sons from previous marriage that my wife and I are expecting a baby around this thanksgiving. The circumstances: - I was divorced a year ago, after a highly contentious process. Today, my ex-wife and I can still barely communicate in a civil way. My sons are well aware of the high conflict - I was married for almost 19 years and have 3 sons, ages 20, 17 & 14. My oldest is out-of-state at college. The younger boys live with their mother, my ex-wife - I first met my wife after my divorce was final. - My wife and I are expecting a baby girl - My wife and I both want to have my boys as part of our family and lives going forward. - We are buying a house in the same neighborhood as my ex-wife. The sole reason for this is my youngest son wants to be able to come over easily as well as remain close to friends. - I would like my sons to adjust in a healthy way to my new life and reality. Thanks
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for using Just Answer. Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child. The best course of action to take is for you and your 3 sons to have a face to face conversation about the arrival of the new baby. Make sure that you give them an opportunity to express their feelings about the situation. Keep the lines of communication open and honest. If you cannot meet with your oldest son then tell him the news on the phone. It is not clear how they may all react so just be prepared to accept any reaction but try to end the conversation on a positive note. As a side note, your ex wife will probably try to create more problems and drama so just ready. It sounds like you have already been a great dad despite the divorce. I wish you continued success because you have already done so much to stay on the right path.

Have awesome day!
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