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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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Any help with a six year old who suddenly is unable to sleep

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Any help with a six year old who suddenly is unable to sleep in her own bed. She is frightened of plane crashes, fires, alarms, things that generally go bump in the night (and day). Admittedly me and her father are in the process of splitting up, she can only know this indirectly, as we have not had the final discussion yet. What tactics can I use, and I emphasise I because he is a non starter when it comes to trouble shooting. For example, tonight I put her to bed in her own bed, read heaps of stories, multiple I love you's. I asked him to read her a story, she cried when he came up stairs, and said she wanted to go to his bed, he said this was as a result of coming up to my bed for the last few nights (to her not me), and she could go up to me now. But in his head it is my fault, he will not accept that he should have tried harder rather than resorting to the easy option. I spent over half an hour with her he spent 4 minutes.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your daughter. She is feeling very anxious about the negative feelings between you and your husband and especially needs to be comforted at night. She is afraid of many things because she has the fear of the unknown: especially the impending separation.


What you need to do now is to seek counseling for your daughter. Talk to her pediatrician to get a referrral for a child psychologist or counselor. She needs intervention and coping strategies in how to deal with her feelings of fear and what she needs to know about her parents.


Right now as her mom, do not worry about what her dad is or is not doing. You cannot control his issues and actions. What YOU can do is to continue to be as loving and as supportive as you can for your daughter. Comfort her when she is sad, lonely, and afraid. Praise her when she does something really well. Have as much fun with her as possible. She is still so young and needs to have the most happy and healthy childhood possible despite the family dynamics.


Have a great day!!!



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