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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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My seventeen year old daughter lied to my husband and i saying

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My seventeen year old daughter lied to my husband and i saying she was going to spend the night with a friend. We were suspicious and asked her some questions, she lied. The next morning my husband went by the friends house and my daughter was not there. she spent the night with her boyfriend because his parents, also her bosses at a restaurnant, were not home. I gave the son an opportunity to tell his parents but he didn't I went to the restaurante to listen to music saw the father and told him my daughter had camped out at his house the other night and I love there son but felt i should tell them. Was a wrong should i just have dealt with my own child?

Hi,

 

"Was a wrong should i just have dealt with my own child?"

 

His parents may have a different understanding with their son than you with your daughter. It is always the best to deal with the issues that are closest to the heart and to the home and let others do the same. Your daughter most likely believes that she's an adult or legally almost one. She may resent this incident and consider it embarrassing. The truth is, she can still find other ways to do what she wants to do and become more skilled at deception. It would be more helpful to deal with her and in the privacy of your home hence forth. You want her to be able to trust you not resent your judgment. You may also view the incident as a mistake on her part being young and eager (very common to teens to act impulsively) She understands that her behavior may have not been appropriate (that is why she lied in the first place) Of course, you do not have to agree or disagree with her at this point. You may want to talk to her about what her choices may lead to later on and the things she'd have to face/cope with should let's say a pregnancy takes place or she gets in trouble legally(you've mentioned testing her for cannabis use)

 

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You may tell your daughter that you acted at that time due to being overwhelmed by the incident. Then, you reassure her that you'd want her as growing young woman to be able to handle things like that with you and that you on your part will make sure that you act accordingly.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I thought this was part of the first question. Thank you
Yes, it was that is why I replied via IR (info request which, prevents the client from clicking accept again) Tx

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