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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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The father of my daughter lives in NC. I live in CO. Our daughter

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The father of my daughter lives in NC. I live in CO. Our daughter is 5 months old and he has never met her. I am following attachment parenting guidelines, ie breastfeeding on demand, babywearing, co-sleeping, etc. I am constantly told by everyone I meet that my baby is the happiest baby they've ever seen.
Her father thinks that I should give him our baby to take back with him to NC for an extended visit, as opposed t taking her on vacation with me.
I think this would be extremely psychologically damaging and not in her best interests. I have instead offered to let him visit as often as wishes here and when she is 3, I will start coming to him for a month so they ease into a relationship with each other. I very much value the role he will play as a father, but I do not think a dad who works nights, shares an apt. with one other older man, and has never had children can provide the same things I am now able to provide. ( I work at home, online, so I am able to atten to her needs 24/7.
What do you think?

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. It is a true delight to have such a happy and healthy baby as you do. I praise you because her happiness is a reflection of the time and effort that you spend with her. Right now, she is very much attached to you. It would not be a wise idea to cast your daughter off to her dad right now, especially with the breastfeeding issue. It is great that you have given the dad the option to visit as often as he wishes now and things will change when she is three. Dad must realize that your daughter is not a toy. She has 24/7 needs. If he works at night, would his roommate watch the baby? I would hope not. Your course if action seems to be right on track. I do agree with your plans. However, just to warn you that nowadays many dads who are no longer with the child's mom get on a power trip and will take the mom to court which is a process that is costly and drags on forever. So I hope that your can settle your differences without involving the legal system.

 

Much success to you and your little angel.Innocent

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