Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your daughter. She is entering the teen age years with raging hormones, lots of drama, tremendous disrespect, and assertive attitude. In fact, she has already learned how to push your buttons and manipulate you. She knows that she has all of the control and that you have lost your ability to parent. She is probably being heavily influenced by friends and maybe even boys. Hopefully, she has not been exposed to drugs and/or alcohol which may be causing her mood swings.
However, there is hope. You must crack down on her hard. I mean really hard. Tell her that you have had enough of her disrespect. Tell her what you expect from her. When you tell her to do something, she must comply. If she does not, she will suffer consequences. Limit tv time, computer time, cell phone time, time spent with friends, etc. You may even need to write up your expectations and the consequences so that your daughter will have it posted and be constantly reminded of them.
The change in her behavior will not happen overnight. But you must stay in control and be the authority figure that you are!!! If she happens to get worse and totally out of control, call the police on her. This is more of a scare tactic.
If you are trying to enforce rules and still having difficulties, then I would suggest family counseling and even individual counseling for yourself and daughter so that you can learn intervention and coping strategies so that your daughter can be that angel that you so desire her to be. She is probably somewhat fearful about what the future teen age years ahead have in store for her. To tell you the truth, even the tv shows are horrible influences on our youth as well.
Hope this helps. Have a Happy Thursday!!!