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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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I have a 16 year old daughter who has a new boyfriend for about

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I have a 16 year old daughter who has a new boyfriend for about two months. He is 18 yrs old and just graduated from high school. Both are involved in school band. He seems a nice guy.

Problem: They were lying next to each other in what it looks like heavy petting. My house is small so I normally go to the other room when my daughter 's freinds come over to visit her.

They were in the living room. I was in the other room and normally go through the living room to go to the kitchen. This time it is boyfreind not a regular girlfreind. I was not sure how to limit to hand holding or what. I have not any expereince in rule setting on how to behave properly while I, the mother, is in the same house. Before I entered the living room, I opened the door and paused to give them time to "stop". But that time they didn't get up but seemed to "pause" while I entered the living room.

Can you advise on what or how much touching is appropriate?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Your daughter and boyfriend were actually laying down??? It is your house and you establish the rules that you feel most comfortable with. You must let your daughter know your rules of the house. Oddly, some parents allow their teen age children to have sex in the house and actually know about it.. Fortunately, you do not seem to be THAT kind of parent. Nowadays, children must have boundaries established. Just have an open and honest conversation with your daughter explaining that you do not mind if her boyfriend comes over or other friends. However, when a member of the opposite sex is over, the door must be left wide open and you would prefer there be nothing more done that hand holding and possibly kissing in our house. Also, you must establish an evening hour where she is not allowed to have her boyfriend over past that time. She will probably engage in heavy petting still, though outside of your house. If you have not had the "sex talk" with her, you need to or even refresh her memory. An 18 year old boy, who is legally an adult, usually has one thing in mind: to have sex with a matter how nice he may be. So please tell your daughter all of your feelings in a caring manner because whatever you tell her "not" to do, she will find a way to do it.


Hope this provides some insight. Thank you and have a nice day.

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