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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My 13 year old son had already been caught drawing inappropriate

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My 13 year old son had already been caught drawing inappropriate pictures of "stick figure people" having sex, and was reprimanded at home and at school about 4 months ago, he stated after the incident he was curious about sex, my husband didn't thoroughly address the issue with him when my son asked... So, the incident lead to us alongside the school principal discovering that my son went online and saw a youtube video and copied the images of stick people having sex on a piece of paper, and he took it to school to show his classmates. We spoke with him, explained that it was inappropriate, he promised not to do it again and then I password XXXXX parental content protected every computer - and STILL, even that failed, for the past two days he has had access to one of the "parental control" laptops while we were out of town and somehow, he was able to access some website called "redtube" from the history I see he has viewed one "very explicit" videotape of the actual sexual act between a man and a woman ... and from the looks of his surfing history he is also looking up gay sex, gay girls, sex games, and I'm just absolutely furious. When I asked him about it, he immediately became overly upset and apologized, I was too angry to look at him and address the issue, my husband is out of town and I just don't know how to approach this issue. I now know my husband just did not handle the issue right at all when our son initially approached him about sex a couple months ago and he brushed it off with the "your too young, I will discuss that with you when your older". We have two younger daughters, 10 and 11yrs old - and I just don't need them exposed to too much sexually explicit stuff too early also ... What do you feel is the right way to deal with this issue directly with my son, I'm just trying not to blow my top right now.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Unfortunately, your son has already been exposed to a plethora of sexual images. The more he views such images and draws explicit pictures, the more curious he will be and may have a desire to experience some of the actions he has observed himself. Nowadays, parents need to have the "sex talk" with their children around the ages of 10 or 11 so that the children will hear correct information from their parents instead of from friends or from personal exploration. Your son is probably very embarassed to talk to you about sex as he is entering puberty and developing feelings for the opposite sex. If you and your husband are finding it rather difficult to talk to your son about his inappropriate computer habits and drawings, then seek professional assistance from a counselor or a psychologist that can assist your son and his desires. There may be deeper rooted problems than on the surface. In today's teen age world, young girls practically throw themselves at our young men through the clothes that they wear, things that they say, and in images that they text. Maybe your son is confused about his own developing sexuality. Ask your son's pediatrician for a referral. You do not have to pull your hair out over this situation when there are trained professionals who can provide intervention and coping strategies for you and your son.


Hope this provides you with some insight. Have a great day!!!

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