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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My grandchildren, aged 2 and 4, were lovely and friendly when

Customer Question

My grandchildren, aged 2 and 4, were lovely and friendly when they were up to 1 year old, but now they have changed and are most unfriendly, push me and others away when we say Hi with a kiss, and scream and have tantrums. His father my son, is a loving and patient father, and often has to go to bed with them to cuddle them asleep. We don't interfere but I believe that his parents, my son and his wife, believe that you never correct or punish them, so that I think they have no values of right and wrong.

I am reluctant to discuss all this with my son, but I wonder if he and his wife should consult a child psychologist. We worry a lot about this situation.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am so very sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your grandchildren. This can be a very touchy situation because parents do not like to be told how "to parent". Your grandchildren may not have had any boundaries established for them and have tantrums when they cannot get their way. They obviously have not been taught how to respect you.

 

Therefore what you can do in a loving. compassionate, and caring way is to approach your son one day. Tell him that you have noticed a major shift in your grandchildren's behavior since they were younger. Ask him if he has noticed a change as well. Then you can continue to explain that you were a little worried because the children are unfriendly, push you, etc. Then wait and see how he responds. If he acts like there is no problem, leave the issue alone with him. You do not want to put any blame on him or his wife. However when the children are around you, it will become your obligation to teach them how to properly respond and behave around you.

 

Hope this helps and provides you with some insight. Have a great day!!!

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I HAD ALREADY DONE AS YOU SUGGEST. i had some hope for a more professional response, with some comfort maybe that children often go through these periods, " the terrible twos etc", but perhaps there is no solution and we must grin and bear it.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding. The behavior of the children may be typical for their age as I have not observed them personally. However, they are like sponges. They will imitate everything that they see and hear. Is the relationship with their parents alright? Do they attend daycare or pre school? What are the children like that they associate with? What kinds of television shows are the children allowed to watch? Since you seem to have already talked to the parents, your goal may need to be to try and uncover the root cause of the problem. There is a solution but the problem needs to be pinpointed.

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