How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question

proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
49595756
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
proexpert37 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Here I am going to Dr. Phil (as my father always says, what

Customer Question

Here I am going to Dr. Phil (as my father always says, "what woud Dr. Phil say?). I am a single mother of a 17-yr old son; his father passed from murder when he was 3. As many parents I STRUGGLE at this age so much. He just graduated H.S. and is a fantastic boy but making poor choices in my opinion. I am so torn and heart stricken one hand I am glad he is at home safe w his friends yet on the other hand I hate the choices they have made to entertain themselves; it makes me sick. My son is so open with me and trust me with alot. My issue is w him smoking and not cigarettes and it makes me resentful of him; I do not like feeling that way. I want to help him through college I want to see him succeed and as of date he has what should one do and how sh
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the feelings that you are experiencing regarding your son. What are your specific questions that I can provide assistance with? Thank you!!!
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I guess I am just seeking advise on how to handle such situation at his age; he will be 18 years old next month.

 

I understand the pressures out there with adolenscents today, I was one once myself and I was in alot worse of a situtation my parents promoted tough love and today I have succeeded. I tried to be compassionate and understanding but I feel he has taken advantage and assumed that to be acceptance from me.

 

He does drink minimal, he does smoke (I feel ecxessively) he does comply with my curfew/check-in rules and he does work and his management adores him. Do I accept the choices he makes and deal with it with hopes he will grow out of it? Do I let them (him and his friends) do this at my home or do I force them out and hope they make it home safe; Primarily my son!

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for responding, Your son is trying to assert his independence and still trying to be somewhat loyal to you as his mother. Whatever the rules are of the house that you have already established, your son must abide by them. Your son nor his friends should not be smoking or drinking in the house. Tell your son that you are not happy with his smoking and drinking. Have an open and honest talk with him and find out the reasons why he does it: To fit in with his friends, to be cool, because it makes him feel good, to attract girls. etc. Go even further and talk about the effects of smoking: lung cancer, emphysema, etc and the dangers of drunk driving. Let him know that as his parent, you are deeply concerned for his safety and overall well being and want the very best for him. You can even write him a heartfelt letter which might have more of an impact than a conversation since he can always refer back to the letter. Hope this helps. (It is only natural for a mother to worry about her children at any age.)

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
proexpert37
proexpert37
Educator
702 Satisfied Customers
Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor