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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Six years ago we adopted a sexully (touching only once) abuse

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Six years ago we adopted a sexully (touching only once) abuse girl by her alcoholic bio- father. At 17 she became more interested in wearing dresses and started to spread her legs in front of me, at one point making an effort to move back into my line of sight after I had moved. This started happening in May, a few weeks before her 18th birthday.
Blaming her real father she says she feels uncomfortable giving me a good night hug and kiss, unlike her real sister. And yet during her baptism, she returned the bear hug the dad of the children she used to baby sit for, gave her.
In retrospect, there seems to have been other incidences , over the years,that taken seperately was just curious, but added together has left me with concern.
Other than chastizing her for her current actions, I didn't know what else to do. But it bothered me so I tried to talk to her about it, it took courage for me to do, but she's very good with turning things around and not having to answer the questions. What was she doing? She'll be going to college in August.
Hello Thank You for using our services. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your daughter. Are you the dad? Thank you for providing the background information. What is your main concern/question regarding your daughter? Are you concerned about her unpredictable actions toward men? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'm her adopted dad. I am wondering if she was expecting me to make love to her, possibly taking her real dads place. Do you think she was and when I rejected the idea do you think she went to others?

Hello and Thank You for responding. It is evident that your daughter has some issues in dealing with men in her life. I am concerned that you would think your daughter wanted you to make love to her. Hopefully, that was not the true feeling from your daughter.


Sexual abuse sometimes has long lasting emotional and social consequences. When your daughter was abused, did she receive any type of counseling? If not, then she may need counseling now. She needs to establish boundaries as to what is acceptable and non acceptable interactions with men. Additionally since she will be going to college in August, you certainly do not want her to be taken advantage of or become too promiscuous.


The best route is to seek professional counseling for your daughter. If you cannot afford a counselor/psychologist, then try a pastor if you are of a particular faith. You can continue to talk to your daughter when she manifests inappropriate or undesirable behavior.


Hope this provides you with some insight. Thanks and have a great day.Cool

proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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