Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your son. He is at the age where he is experiencing a roller coaster of emotions. However in your son's case, his emotions are extreme. Hopefully, he is not into drugs or alcohol. Make sure you know who he hangs out with.
The route that might suit your family best now is to seek family counseling as well as individual counseling for your son. You cannot continue to live with your son and his tyraids. It is not healthy for anybody. He is destroying himself. He seems to have a lot to offer being a star athlete and all. As his parent, you are definitely on the right track in noticing that there is a problem that you are not in denial about and you want some direction.
Continue with your methods of punishment for his behavior but do praise him when he behaves to your satisfaction. Try the counseling route. You can seek a referral from your son's pediatrician.