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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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We have a son who is almost 4 and who (predictably) is very

Customer Question

We have a son who is almost 4 and who (predictably) is very physical. And (as I'm sure is also common) he's quite shy in new situations. We've had him attend his first few soccer lessons with about 6 of his friends that he sees all of the time from his "mommy's group". We thought that taking the class with his friends would help him warm up. Well, while the other 20 kids in his class are all making some effort on the field, he generally wants to stay away and be held on the sidelines. Towards the end of each class, he starts to warm up a bit.

I know it's not good to push him to get involved. That said, I'd like to have more in my toolkit to encourage him in these types of situations. To that end, I'd like to know from someone with child development expertise if they can recommend a book that has good, practical advice in encouraging a shy child. This is important stuff, and I'd hate to grab a book just because of its pretty cover or even its layperson reviews on Amazon.

Thanks for the help!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

I was just wondering...does he want to play soccer? How is his behavior social wise at school? Do you want a book about how to improve his self esteem and confidence? Thanks.

 

PS..I have to step out for a bit but your question will be answered.

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I sent a reply last Friday, but I see it's not showing up here so I'll try again.

He does say he likes soccer. The pattern is a similar one in other settings... if he's in unfamiliar circumstances, it takes quite a while for him to warm up. He is in a pre-school and because it's familiar, he socially does fine there. A book about helping a young child to build confidence would be good.

Thanks.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
OK..I did not receive a reply last week but I can help you now.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Here are some resources that can assist you. Good luck. Have a great day!!!

Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Children in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility by Chick Moorman

How to Inspire, Encourage, and Motivate Your Child: Positive Words You Can Say In Less Than One Minute a Day Darla Jung

Being Me: A Kid's Guide to Boosting Confidence and Self-esteem by Wendy Moss PhD