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Dr. Gupta
Dr. Gupta, Doctor (MD)
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 7939
Experience:  Experienced, Board Certified practicing Pediatrician experienced in common parenting issues.
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My 14 year old 8th grader does not have any close friends to

Resolved Question:

My 14 year old 8th grader does not have any close friends to do things on the weekends with. She prefers to hang around the house watching movies, on the computer, volunteering at a pet rescue. It is odd because she is very happy, outgoing and social when the actitvitie arise, but she doesn't seek them out. She is independent, engaging, funny and has spent the last two summers away from home at Ballet Intensives in Boston and Washington DC, on her own for 5 and 6 weeks. Enjoyed both tremendously.
Next year she will leave a group of kids that she has known since kindergarten and attend a local private, girls high school. The school is only a high school, so the entire freshman class will be new.
My question is, is this something to be concerned about and should I be doing anything?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Gupta replied 5 years ago.

ParentingMD :

I understand and appreciate your concern regarding your 8th grader

ParentingMD :

From your description this appears to be a normal personality trait

ParentingMD :

which may be magnified a bit by the fact that she is a teenager, many of whom tend to become reticent in seeking out new challenges

ParentingMD :

While this is not unusual, you can try to help out in this situation, by helping her getting more opportunities to interact with other kids

ParentingMD :

While improving her social calendar you must try to make it sound like it was her idea, since teens can become quite stubborn if they believe that they are being coaxed to do something

ParentingMD :

I believe that to some extent many of us (including myself) was like this as a teen,

ParentingMD :

and while this is not unusual, you can certainly help along by looking for opportunities for her to interact with more kids in a social setting

ParentingMD :


As a start, you can as her to get your community’s events list for the summer and attend an event.



 

ParentingMD :

She may enjoy this :)

ParentingMD :

Please remember to accept the answer by pressing the GREEN accept button, do get back for any clarifications

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Should I be concerned that she does not have a best friend yet?
Expert:  Dr. Gupta replied 5 years ago.
No,
I do not believe that this is something to be unduly concerned about,
Many teens do not have a single close friend, and may have a small group of friends that they share their thoughts with.
Some like to keep a diary to keep them company too,
I believe that you are being a little over anxious here :)
Though this is quite understandable, being a parent myself !
Warm regards
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