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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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im a step mother to two children which i have raised from ages

Customer Question

im a step mother to two children which i have raised from ages 2 and 4. Now they are Austin 16 and Ashley 17. Their bio mom is clinically mentally ill, and over meds herself and has never been a mother to them. It has always been me, over the last year Ashley has basically been a teen with maybe normal teen issues but went to smoking drugs, becoming very rebelous, smart talking etc etc, over the past summer she really got bad and wanted to go live with mother. Mother stays in bed all day is just a basket case but, when ashley over there gets away with any and all. Well by the start of this past school yr mother said she needed to come back home cause she cant take Ashleys ways. Well, here we are and she moved out about three weeks ago not to moms but to friends. Prior to leaving father and her got into it and she told him she hated him. to this day has not apologized does she call. he is very hurt. I took senior pics of her and took them to her to show her which one i wanted her to put into announcements she looked at them and said ewe.... im really at the point of hurtness that i dont want to attend her up coming its like an evil concious is taking over me. i feel as if i attend its because other family members are not cuz i want to be there. i have a 24yr old son whos grad i attended and felt nothing like this. im so confused its like i get myself excited for her and to attend and then this emotion sets in my mind and i start telling myself she dont deserve me to attend, her bio mom and father (my husband) will along with other family memebers. i just cant get this emotion out of my mind, body and soul. please try to understand, i love her but it has become hell. what should i do? i dont think she would care, at least in this time of her life.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with Ashley. Soon she will be 18 and a legal adult. You have already done more than enough for her. It may be time for you to let go and allow her to spread her wings without your continued assistance since it is so upsetting for you. If in your heart you do not want to attend the graduation, then do not go. Avoid the drama that may occur. Let Ashley know that you love her but would rather not attend the graduation. Ashley may never change but you can change your reactions to her actions for the benefit of your overall well being.

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