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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Morning. I am having long term troubles with my 10 yr old daughter,

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Morning. I am having long term troubles with my 10 yr old daughter, she is lovely on the whole but has such a temper at me, often about nothing and then clings to me so i can't allow a space between us so that she can calm down. We both end up feeling so drained.

Yeaterday was in public. I was helping with the local group athletics and when I told her it was her turn she shot me such a look of anger that I said ok I'll just wait over there so you can get on with it. She then clung to me and argued and went quite mad. We went home and she missed out yet another thing that makes her happy.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Could you provide me with a little more information. Is your daughter an only child? Are both parents in the home? What kinds of activities is she involved in when she clings to you? What is her behavior like at school? Does she have many close friends? Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

My daughter is the younger of two, her brother is a very independent happy fellow who has never had a tantrum in his life. We are both at home. I work part time as a nurse and my husband is an artist at home. My daughter has sort of close friends (we moved here 3yrs ago) but has recently been bullied, this has passed and they all get on well now, she hasn't got one really close friend she can depend on.

 

Mainly she clings to me when she is shy and there are others about, if I am not there however she becomes part of what is happening easily and fits in well. Other times she clings is when she is upset with me at home but its more shouting and if I try to do what she wants I'm then in trouble cause I don't really want to (??), I just feel I can't win. I want her to be happy and I feel maybe I have to stop and hug her ( when she lost it at 2 I used to hold her and tell her a story) but I get so upset inside (we never had confrontation in my family when i grew up - that I can remember).

At school her teachers say she is a delight and takes part in everything, I think she may get cross/lose her temper at her friends now and again, not sure.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for responding. You and your daughter could really benefit from counseling together. It seems as though your daughter may have some repressed issues that have not come to light. She clings to you when she is shy and then clings to you when she is angry. Those emotions are at opposite ends if the spectrum. A counselor or psychologist could delve deeper into the issues and help both of you relate more positively to each other. You need on going counseling until the situation improves. You could receive coping and intervention strategies in dealing with your daughter. There seems to may be many more issues going on here that you realize.
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