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Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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My daughter is worried for middle school. Could you give me

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My daughter is worried for middle school. Could you give me some tips to help her calm down about it?
Hello and thank you for consulting JA,

This is a frequent problem as children transition to middle school.

Find out "what is your biggest fear" and then, find evidence against the fear or find a solution to her perceived problem.

For instance....if she is afraid she will be late to class or get lost. Provide her with a map of the floor plan. Once she gets her schedule, mentally rehearse her day and class changes. Actually go to the school and let her get familiar with the environment.

If this fear is severe, take her to meet teachers a few days before school starts so that she can see the classrooms and be comfortable with the teachers. Tell the school staff that this is necessary to treat her "anxiety disorder" so that they will comply with your request.

Come back if you find her biggest worry and I will help to find words to help her.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Her biggest fear is getting pick on on the first day...her older friend got picked on so now she's worried..

Prepare her for the worst happening. If she will, role play with her and help her learn to let the teasing "roll off her back" like water off a ducks back. Either help her ignore or use a strategy such as "fogging". The fogging response is "you could be right".

Yo might want to see what the school has done about "anti-bullying policy" and read that to reassure her that it is actually not allowed and the bullies might get in trouble if caught. She should also ask her older friend how she handled it and what she is doing now. If older friend still there, friend can be available to her if anything upsetting happens.

The mental rehearsal usually helps to allay anxiety for many it through as if it is really happening and develop a script.

Good luck
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