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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My twin girls will be 5 in 15 days. Overall they are doing

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My twin girls will be 5 in 15 days. Overall they are doing quite well. One is a a bit dominent, and picks on her sister. I drive them to school, and this morning one sister "hit" the other sister a couple of times, which really was more like an annoying tap on the head. Nonetheless, I want to change the behavior. I haven't been able to set up a reward system that works, threat of punishment, or punishment works a bit more effective. Punishment might be taking away the shoes they love for a day. Any thoughts?
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. An effective way to change behavior for a five year old is to focus more on the positive behavior....the good days. You can utilize a sticker system and a calendar. Every day that either one of your daughters has an absolutely great day, they are rewarded individually with a sticker on the calendar. After 15 stickers, they will receive a special treat or a special outing...something that they really like. If undesired behavior occurs, they receive nothing but a stern reminder of how they should have behaved. They will become more accountable and understand that they are responsible for their actions and the consequences which may occur as they see the stickers adding up. Place the calendar someplace that can be seen on a continuous basis by all. Try this for a while and see if it works. It may take about two months or so until the behavior will change completely. If this does not work, let me know and we can try something else.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
So give me some examples of what is Stern Appropriate for a 5 year old. Want to find the right amount of sternness.
Look your child directly in the eye with you bending down at their eye level. Use an authoritative voice...not loud but firm and a little scary sounding like you really mean it. Use simple sentences. Ask the child to repeat what you have just told them to make sure they understand and were listening.
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