Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are having with your son. He does have a drug usage problem that he is unwilling to admit . It is great that he does have the responsibility of a job. For now just concentrate on helping him finish school.
Here is the hard part. Since your son is of the legal age as an adult, when he graduates you will have to give him some rules of the house to follow and stick by them. If he wants to stay in the house, he must continue to work as he will be allowed to use the car, go to college which you will pay for, and stop the drug use with the assistance of seeing a drug counselor. If he continues the drug use after you have already told him several times, kick him out of the house, you keep the car, and see how far he gets. This is the tough love part. He probably needs to hit rock bottom before he realizes that he needs his parents much more than he is willing to admit. He will not accept your support and guidance right now. He thinks he knows everything and believes that his decisions are the correct ones. He is probably being negatively influenced by his friends and will not accept any advice that you give him. Sometimes parents must allow their children to spread their wings to see how difficult life is in the real world. They will learn from their mistakes and change for the better. Ultimately, you will need to decide which direction you would like to take. If you do nothing, things will not change.
Hope this has provided you with some insight. Happy Mother's Day!!!!
Hello again my friend. Allow your son to concentrate on finishing school since it is only a few weeks away. Keep on casually reminding him when you know that he has been using drugs that you do not approve of it. After graduation, then is the time to impose the strict limits that you feel most comfortable with. You must tell him after graduation what you expect from him if he wants to continue to live under your roof as a responsible adult. If he refuses to abide by the rules, then he must find another place to live. He will get angry and probably stay that way for a while. As long as you keep communicating with him somehow if he does leave, then that should ease the tension if any. Give him a certain amount of time to change...3-6 months is more than enough time.
If he will noty go to counseling, have a trusted family friend who may have had drug issues in the past, a church pastor,a law enforcement official, or a family member come over to talk to your son about the destructive path that he is slowly journeying onto. Sometimes it helps to hear another and different perspective instead of listening to parents all of the time. Don't give up on your son though. There is always hope!!!