Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are having with your son. He is on easy street right now. He can come and go as he pleases and does not care about the rules and regulations of the household. If he wants to take on the responsibilities of being an adult, then he must act like one...a responsible one though. If you have imposed consequences on him and he still lies, hangs out overnight, etc, then once he graduates from high school, you may need to offer him an ultimatum: Either he abide by all of the rules of the house or go find another place to live. As long as he is under the roof of your house, HE MUST follow the rules. Kicking him out is "tough love" which is what he may need to grow up and be more responsible. Hopefully though, he will shape up after you tell him what his choices will be after graduation. It is obvious that you love and care for your son deeply but it is not emotionally healthy for you to have a disrespectful adult son carrying on the way he does.
Hope this has provided some insight. If you need more advice, just ask!!!