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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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We have a five year old (as of 3/29) who is sarcastic, rude,

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We have a five year old (as of 3/29) who is sarcastic, rude, condescending, talks back, says she doesn't care (think of Veruca salt from willy wonka) at home with mom and dad. However, at school or others, she is a perfect angel. Her teachers, peers love her, friends and family can't believe her behavior unless they actually witness it. What are we doing wrong? We understand our children are indulged but we thought we set proper boundaries and punishments, but nothing seems to work with her? She's short of behaving like one of the kids on Super nanny. What do we need to do to fix this?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. Is she an only child? Is she in kindergarten?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Sorry for the delay in responding, something was wrong with my account. To answer your questions, no she is not an only child, she has a 15 year old sister and 2 year old brother. She will start kindergarten in the fall, she's finishing her 2nd year of pre-school next month.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Just for some background information, how does your 15 year old act toward you?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
She's from my previous marriage and lives with her mother. We have her once a month due to distance and we thankfully have a great relationship. However our relationship tends to be built on sarcasm, which i know tends to flow back to her mother when she goes home.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago. is time to flip the script so to speak on your daughter. There is no need to yell and scream when she acts up. I am sure that there are times when she is behaving well and doing something good and wonderful. So start focusing more on the positive aspects. Try to ignore as much of her rudeness as you can to an extent. She will still need to be disciplined. But what you can do is to set up a basic rewards system using stickers that you know she will really like. Explain to her that if she has a really good day with no major flare-ups, then she will receive a sticker for that day. If she has a problem day, she receives nothing on the calendar sticker chart. After she has accumluated 10 stickers, she gets a special treat, toy, activity. After a while, you can increase the stickers to 15 and then 20. Hopefully by then, you will not have to rely on the chart because she will have changed her ways. This is positive reinforcement. Give it a try and see what happens.Laughing
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
And of course keep modeling and having her say things in appropriate ways!!!
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