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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My son started not going to school for straight 4 days since

Customer Question

My son started not going to school for straight 4 days since tues (march 29), he is being counselled past few months. This is the worst so far. One moment he want to transfer school, the next moment he don't want to. He is complaining Singapore school education does not fit him, is is asking for international school which we are unable to afford. He wants to be author, but his ego was smashed when he failed his English.He even talk about migration, not himself but the whole family. What can i do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I need to ask you a few questions to understand the situation better. Why was your son receiving counseling? Why does he talk about migration? Where does he want to go? Is he an only child? How are his grades overall? How are his relationships with his friends? Please let me know. Thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

He was receiving counselling late last year because I realised that he absent from school with lame excuses especially when there are some function in school where they only need to be there for a few hours.

He maybe he talked about migration because he reads alot, surf internet (especially wikipedia when he wants to find for answer to his thoughts or questions) got influences by western idea.

I told him Singpore is a perfect place to live in, no natural disaster, safe place to live in, all our relatives are here, he still don't like here. He wants to stay in a place with 4 seasons. I told him I will support him if he wants to further studies after his secondary level, but he don't want to wait because we have compulsory 2 years of national service enlistment.

He is the elder of my 2 boys, his younger brother is 14 years old.

He don't have much friends, just a few currently. He don't keep in contact with his primarily school friends. Because of his current situation, I think he is keeping away from his friends. They use to go to one of the friend house for role playing games which he introduced to them, now he has stopped doing that during the recent March school holiday (1 week).

Just a little information on him, he likes to write, he wants to be author which he think Singapore don't fit him. He writes whenever he is free, but he does not want to show me what he wrote.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Hello and Thank You for taking the time to respond. Your son may be anxious about his future and seems to lack self confidence in his own abilities. He also sounds as though he may be somewhat depressed. Since he cannot get his own way about which way he wants his life to go, he seems to be lashing out: wanting to migrate, skipping school, blaming Singapore for his problems, not spending the time with his friends, etc. He needs to try to do well no and accept things for how they are now. It seems as though his life is not so bad. If possible, try to seek counseling outside of school from a professional who specializes with motivating teenagers. What he needs right now is lots of encouragement and support. Also, try to get him involved in positive activities with teenagers of his own age. He should not be isolating himself. That is when his mind can wander and he starts to think of all these "crazy" ideas. Since he likes to write so much, have him write you a letter about all the things he likes in his life and all of the things that he doesn't. Then you can sit down and have an open and honest discussion about all of the issues if you haven't already.


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