How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question

Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Dr. Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My son has the same issues I had when I was a child; ever since

Resolved Question:

My son has the same issues I had when I was a child; ever since he was born, he has been a very sensitive, light sleeper. He is easily startled by any noises in his sleep, and often is afraid of the dark. How do we overcome this issue with him?

I personally never fully overcame it, and was traumatized at an early age by a nuclear family not at all understanding of my concerns (which actually made things worse for me). We have therefore tried to be very understanding towards it, which I think has helped...but we're looking for answers.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

How old is your son?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
9 years old
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Can anyone assist?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for clarifying.

Your son may have a higher EQ that is affecting how her reacts to other's feedback.

Because of your experiences from childhood, you actually are aware of what he's going through and you're sympathetic and trying to help him.

 

The approach you may try with him is to let him know that you have been in his shoes (you do not have to go into details with him) let him know what had helped you, how you managed, and remind him that you're there for him even if he does not want to talk about it at this time.

 

It would help to focus on his strengths (whatever they are- you know him best) and foster these in him by continuous encouragement and praise for work well done. Even complimenting the desirable traits in his personality are empowering.

 

There may be some activities that you can slowly introduce to him such as- walk in the back yard with you with a flash light and talking about how his day had been at school, then the following week going out to gaze at the starts, perhaps when it is warm ask him if he would like to have a sleep over (either invite a friend of go to someone's house) At all times you remind him that darkness is part of life just like light is (the two have to exist) You can let him know that night time is a time for animals, plants and people to recharge their batteries, growth occurs when rest is present, etc.

 

Look into using some on line educational videos to show him that some creatures are more active at night ex: bats, owls, cats) Try to find out what about darkness is comfortable to him- is it because his imagination is wide fearing something will happen, is it because he's genuinely anxious but no identifiable reason can be pin pointed, is it because it reminds him of an incident where something sad or scary had taken place in the dark, etc.

 

Indigo Dreams: Relaxation and Stress Management Bedtime Stories for Children, Improve Sleep, Manage Stress and Anxiety (Indigo Dreams) by Lori Lite (Audio CD -

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

What is EQ please?

 

Noone knows of this issue except for he, his brother, his mother, and I.

 

Nothing actually worked for me...I have no solutions for him, per se. I do exactly what you suggest...I encourage him, compliment him, discuss with him his fears....I've thought of trying to have time out in the dark, in the yard, together...or in a room somewhere at night.

 

He is usually afraid of something trying to get him...I was the same way...it all boiled down to not being able to see in the dark, and not knowing what was there...worrying that someone was going to get me, etc...I sometimes still wake up in the morning, and find I turned the light on at some point, without realizing it.

 

did you suggest to find out "what about darkness IS comforting to him", or did you mean what about darkness "ISN'T" comfortable to him?

Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

EQ is emotional intelligence. What about the darkness makes him feel uneasy

If positive feedback had not worked out, at this age he may be able to benefit from counseling or hypnotherapy. Sometime a child can respond well to working with someone who's not a family member.

 

You can get him a small flash light and let him keep it in his room. His behavior will not improve over night and it will take time and practice and your encouragement will be needed all along. You must have at least one example for him of how you deal with similar issues. Without the opportunity to work with your son face to face, I'm afraid only suggestions and speculations can be offered on line.

Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
Dr. Rossi and 3 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HE/heidi1107/2012-2-18_15325_Heidi.64x64.jpg Heidi LPC's Avatar

    Heidi LPC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    Licensed Professional Counselor