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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 9 year old daughter has gone to my sisters just about every

Customer Question

My 9 year old daughter has gone to my sisters just about every weekend sence she was 4. They have a very close relationship. I found out that when she goes over there my sister talks badly about me and my husband. It have effected my daughter in a bad way. She looks at my sister as a (mother) instead of me. My daughter still wants to go over to my sisters house, what should I do?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello and Thank You for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear that your sister has negatively influenced your daughter. Do you and your sister get along? Have there been any issues of jealousy from your sister's point of view? Does your sister have children of her own?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I thought we got along. She has a son, he doesn't live with her. He's 19 and moved in with girlfriend.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Hello and Good Morning. Your daughter may be the daughter that your sister wished she had as her own. She may be trying to put ideas in your daughter's head so that your daughter may one day say, "I want to live with my aunt." Since she already spends a great deal of time over her house, then your sister may hope that you will comply.

 

If you thought that you and your sister had fairly good relations, then there is no reason why she should be putting your daughter in the middle of your relationship. It will be difficult to change your sister. But what you can do is to disallow your daughter from going over to your sister's house for a while and then see how your sister responds. Then you can have another talk with your sister. She does owe you an explanation for her unkind words about you to your daughter.

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