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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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I have a 9 (almost 10) year old son who is very bright. He

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I have a 9 (almost 10) year old son who is very bright. He gets excellent grades in all accelerated classes. He takes piano and enjoys sports. He seems to have friends as he talks about them often-- but he doesn't seem to have a best friend and has never been invited to a sleepover like some others. My question is difficult. I am wondering what is normal and what is not. I've teertered back and forth with the question of ADHD. He is hyper at home. Instead of walking from one task or place to another-- he is usually jogging or running. He rushes to finish tasks. He also seems to be disorganized at home-- though he has no problem at school. He has yet to employ table manners or social graces-- like not cutting in a line-- despite daily attempts to teach him correct behavior. Lastly, at school he does get in trouble for talking-- but he can reign it in if warned enough. Normal-- or a problem?
Hello and thank you for using Just Answer. If your son had ADHD, he would be exhibiting the same "hyper" activities at school like he does at home. There are other disorders but only a developmental psychologist or a pediatrician could provide an accurate diagnosis after a thorough evaluation. It usually requires a lengthy parent questionnaire as well as observations from your child's teachers along with a medical evaluation. To be on the safe side, that is the best course of action to take.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your prompt reply. I am hesitant to seek an evaluation for fear of opening a can of worms but see why perhaps I should consider this course of action. I am still wondering however if it is possible that his "hyper" behavior (detailed in my original question) is within normal limits for a 9, almost 10, year old boy. I was raised an only child. I simply don't have experience enough to know if this could perhaps be just "boy like" behavior. Or is it indeed different enough from the norm to go down a perhaps windy, bumpy path to find a problem/diagnoses (especially given that he is successful in all other areas).
Hello...your son does manifest some signs of ADHD...especially at home. I would first talk to the teacher to get her honest evaluation about his behavior at school. For a ten year old, it is fine if he does not have a best friend. Does he have any friends? Also, at school he should be able to focus when completing assigned tasks without bothering or talking to others. He should be able to stay in his seat. He should be able to raise his hand and wait his turn to speak. He should be keeping his hands to himself. He should never be acting like the class clown. He should not be exhibiting aggressive and impulsive behavior toward the other students. He should not become easily frustrated or angered. These are the typical behaviors of ADHD children at school. As for the home life, he is showing the typical boy behavior but he must be taught what is acceptable in your household. Curtail the running. Tell him to walk. Make him show you that he can walk. Teach him about social graces. Show him how to be more organized. Role play some of these situations. If you feel that he is not responding to your help and guidance, please seek further professional assistance.
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