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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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My 10 and 8 year old sons are starting to back chat every time

Resolved Question:

My 10 and 8 year old sons are starting to back chat every time I ask them to do something or tell them not to do something.

Instead of Yes Mum (the best answer in my opinion), they answer with "But I was just ..." Then I say, it doesn't matter, do what I asked. Then they ignore me and keep doing what they were doing.

It escalates to me yelling at them to follow my instruction which they do half-heartedly.

How can I stop the "arguing" in between?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and thank you for using Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you are having with your sons. A suggestion that you might try is when you request that they do something or not to do something, have them repeat what you have just told them to do. Do this constantly so they will get out of the habit of having their say. They must first honor and respect what you are saying to them. Then ask them if they have any concerns or questions...but they are not allowed to say anything back to you until you have asked for a response from them. This must be practiced over and over until it becomes routine. If you need more advice, just ask.Laughing
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
If they are in the middle of something "important", eg. they haven't finished their game, the TV show isn't over, they're too tired, etc. (all valid reasons in their mind), surely I am letting them get the upper hand if I wait until "they are ready"? Didn't happen that way when I was a kid!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Give them a warning first...such as "In 10 minutes you will turn the tv off" and then "In five minutes the tv will go off"...etc. Let them feel like they have the upperhand at first. When time is up, time is up. Turn off the tv. Lights out...end of discussion. They may whine but you must reamin asssertive otherwise when they become teenagers, they will be harder to control.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Give them a warning first...such as "In 10 minutes you will turn the tv off" and then "In five minutes the tv will go off"...etc. Let them feel like they have the upperhand at first. When time is up, time is up. Turn off the tv. Lights out...end of discussion. They may whine but you must reamin asssertive otherwise when they become teenagers, they will be harder to control.
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