Hello and welcome to Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the problems with your duaghter. It sounds like your daughter has grown up very privileged and ahe feeels like she is entitled to everything. She may not realize the true sacrifices that have been made for her by you and your husband. Her disrepect is a sign of emotional immaturity. What may need to happen is that you and your husband may need to start withdrawing things from her. She may whine and complain at first but ut is for her own good. Does she work? If not, she needs to find a job so that she can develop a sense of responsinbitlity. She has been accustomed to having everything being done for her. She will appreciate more in life when she has to work hard for the things that she wants. She is an adult and you must release the ties slowly so that she can become more independent. You and your husband are enabling her to be too dependent on you for everything.
With regards XXXXX XXXXX disrepsect towards you, just continue to love and care for her. Do not let her manipulate you by reacting in a negative manner when she is disrespectful no matter how hard it may be. It will be hard to change her actions but you can change your reactions to her. You may want to seek professional counseling to acquire some intervention strategies in dealing with your daughter as well as with your husband since it seems like you are not on the same page. Additionally since the entire family seems to be affected, family therapy may be needed. If you need more assistance, just ask. If you need to provide me with more background information , please do so as well. Thank you.
Hello and thank you for contacting Just Answer again. It is very unfortubate that your daughter is acting in the manner that she does toward you. I have a few questions to help me understand the situation a little further:
1. Are you her biological mother?
2. Has she ever had any counseling for depression or anxiety?
3. Have you ever had any counseling?
4. Have you ever done ANYTHING to cause your daughter to be really upset?
5. Have you asked your husband how he feels about the disrepect from your daughter?
6. Is your daughter your only child?
7. Does your daughter spend more time alone with your daughter than you do now?
8. Does she work and is she still in school?
9. What does sge do for fun?
10. Does she have a boyfriend?
11. What are her friends like?
12. Does she ever talk about her future goals and plans?
As for now, time may be the best healer. Keep your distance for a while and see how she responds. Do not call her. Do not text or email her. Do not even see her for as long as you can take it. She will begin to miss you even though she would never admit it. She will eventually call you. Unfortunately, your husband is not helping the situation improve. It would really do her some good if she sought further counseling to deal with her anxiety, depression, and OCD. Maybe your husband can suggest that to her or her sister. She has always been dependent upon others which is not healthy. Now it sounds as though she is waiting for her boyfriend to start making the big bucks so that she can be dependent on him.
After some time passes, maybe you, your husband, and daughter, as well as her sister, can all sit down and have a family meeting about everything. All your daughter has been doing is running away from problems which is affecting everyone in her life. She cannot escape reality forever. She must come to grips with her feelings about you. Neither one of you can live the rest of your lives in this manner.