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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I AM A 32 YEAR OLD MEN WHOHAVE JUST HOOKED BACK UP WITH A EX

Customer Question

I AM A 32 YEAR OLD MEN WHOHAVE JUST HOOKED BACK UP WITH A EX GIRL FRIEND FROM COLLEGE. I CAUGHT BACK UP WITH HER ON MYSPACE AFTER LIKE 8 YEARS. OK BUT THE THING IS AFTER HOOKING BACK UP I SEEN SHE HAD 2 KIDS WHICH IS COOL I LOVE THEM AS MUCH AS I LOVE HER. I HAVE 1 OF MY OWN IN WHICH I HAVE COMPLETE COSTUDY OF. MY GIRL CAN NOT CONTROL HER KIDS. ME COMING IN AS A STEP PARENT I HAVE TRYED TIME OUT WHICH SHE (MY GIRL) THOUGHT WAS GREAT. IT WASNT DOING NOTHING HER SON WOULD LAUGH AT HER STILL FROM SCHOOL NOT LISTEN TO NOTHING SHE SAY AND IS JUST PLAN OUT DISRESPECTFUL TOWARDS HIS MOM HE'S 8. HER DAUGHTER IS 9 SHE SCREAMS LIES DOES SUPERB IN SCHOOL BUT DOES NOTHING HER MOTHER SAYS. I GUESS THE ADVICES I NEED IS WHAT SHOULD I DO AS A STEP PARENT IN THIS SITUATION. I WONNA LEAVE , I'VE BEEN HERE FOR THREE YEARS NOW AND NOTHING HAS CHAGED IM FEELING LIKE THE BAD GUY. THEY ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL TOWARDS HER ITS TERRIBLE. I KNOW ITS HER FAULT MAINLY. BUT THEM KIDS ARE OF AGE ALSO.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 5 years ago.
It is her fault. Those kids didn't turn bad overnight. You have an uphill battle being the stepparent because the discipline needs to come from her. If she is open to making things better and trying new things then I suggest the two of you get a parenting book and apply it to the kids. Super Nanny and Nanny 911 are good books. Basically I tell parents who have taken a hands off approach to their children and now want to make changes is to get any parenting book and get a solid plan in place. My guess is that things are chaotic and inconsistent with her. So starting with a parenting book is a good first intervention. If she does not want to do the work then you should get out quickly because it gets worse as the kids get older.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thanks a lot. Its really her me N her had a sOn a year and a half ago he's 1ike 8 months now and he's already acting up with her. Its terrible cause I feel so wrong cause I know what to do and have done it and showed her and its like shell do its lshell do it for as long as she think I think iTs cool! I'm really to tierd of it now I mean 3 years. And I'm helping her graduate from college in December she will be a nurse! So I know she smart!
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 5 years ago.
She is probably overwhelmed and don't know where to start. Maybe you need to have a serious conversation with her telling her that her parenting skills are severely affecting the relationship and if things don't change then you might be out.