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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hello,my 6 year old boys behaviour has gone terrible at school.He

Customer Question

Hello,my 6 year old boys behaviour has gone terrible at school.He lost his grandma last year (was v close to her) and my husband and I split up,got back together and I found out he was still lieing to me (things have been pretty bad in the house).My boy coped fine and then suddenly his behaviour went terrible at school.He is sooooooooo angry,throwing things,diving under tables and refusing to come out,kicking and punching.He has NEVER been violent before.

He has now been excluded 3 times from school (twice from old school then we moved him as they were doing nothing to help him) and once in the new school.For the first week his behaviour in the new school was alot better,now it has deteriorated again big time!!

Please help!!!!!
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Hello..how was your son's behavior before the passing of his grandmother and the split from your husband? Does your son see his dad much anymore? Are you still split up? Has your son witnessed any physical abuse in the home?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

His behaviour was a bit difficult in reception year (running off hiding under tables and in bushes etc) but they put some things in place and he calmed down alot.in year one he was wobbly (got upset easily if things didnt go right,end of the world etc) but had a lovely teacher who put things iin place and he did great. In year two (this year) he was absolutely fine for 4 months,no probs at all until his behaviour kicked off big time.

 

Incidently he has always been v bright academically and does v well but he has no confidence in himself.

 

My husband is still at home.We have never argued in front of the kids but of course they could hear some of the heated arguments and there have been some nasty words and threats passed between us like 'you will never see your kids again' etc

 

Yes he may have witnessed one or two physical incidents between me and my husband.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
I had other concerns...does your son have many friends at school? Can he follow directions easily or does he get distracted? Can he focus at school? You are dealing with two issues for your son. He has impulsive behavior and also he lacks self confidence. I am trying to pinpoint a cause and some suggestions but I need some more background information. Thank you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He has only just moved schools so difficult to answer...but at his last school...more a best friend and a few other friends but quite well liked by the other kids I think (more girls than boys) He has always been v close to one child (different every year) rather than having lots of friends.

 

I wouldnt say he gets distracted easily...he has just sat for a few hours on his own in our kitchen doing work on his own really well (he has been excluded today) BUT he has no confidence in himself and teachers say they have to keep on at him 'yes you can do it keep going' etc to keep him going

 

Yes he usually focus well at school but defo not at the moment....the slightest thing he dont like or what he views as a critism and it all goes quickly wrong.

 

He has been doing alot of hiding under desks and refusiung to come out recently bye the way (which he hasnt done since reception) today he wouldnt come out the bathroom cubicle and then was leaping around like a monkey V distressed/upset/angry

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Since it sounds like you have tried some type of behavior management intervention already, your next step would be to seek professional assistance and have your son evaluated by a psychologist. He is manifesting oppositional, defiant, and angry behavior. He also may have a mood disorder. A clinical evaluation should be undertaken to elucidate what is specifically occurring. Therapy or medication may be suggested. Additionally two good resources for you are a book called SOS: Help for Parents by Lynn Clark and Ross Greene's book called The Explosive Child.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Wow what an unhelpful answer I could have guessed that myself and I told you he is showing defiant and angry behaviour!

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