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proexpert37 , Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My ex and I have a 4.5 year old Son. We divorced in Sept and

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My ex and I have a 4.5 year old Son. We divorced in Sept and tried an alternative way of co-parenting by him still living in the house. Naturally, we got along as friends but I decided that I needed to just move on with my life. My ex was "squatting" in the house not paying any household bills but paying for our Son's tuition for Montessori school + I was watching our Son 90% of the time when he was not in school as my ex worked evenings/nights 5-6 days a week. I felt like I was being "taken advantage of" and there was no compromising after much discussion.

He moved out a month ago back into his Mom's house- his choice as opposed to an apartment/house nearby - which is about 30 miles away. My ex clearly has the means to spring for his own place but opted out of living closer to our Son's school - driving 60 to 120 miles Round Trip 2-3 days a week (mostly in rush hour traffic). Anyway, that's not my business as he gets to school, albeit usually late, but he gets there.

When I am with my Son, we have a great time: building puzzles, going to the park , going to his favorite restaurant with a playground, the zoo, watching cartoons together etc. We sleep together and snuggle. There are rarely any tantrums or a test of wills anymore.

We split our Son 50/50 - 4 days, 3 days then 3 days, 4 days. I see my ex once a week (Sunday) and my Son cries and is hysterical when my ex puts him in my car. It might last for 5-15 minutes and then he is fine. When he leaves me, my is Son elated to see my ex...I might get a wave goodbye, at best.

I am perplexed as to handle this. Is this normal? Will it pass? Is there anything I can do to let him know that I care, love and want to see him besides what I am already doing?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello my friend. This is completely normal behavior for a child at your son's age. It will pass as your son becomes accustomed to the routine of dropping him off. The good thing is that your son enjoys spending time with you and his dad and that you both seem to get along as best as you can. It is so important that their be positive interaction between you and your ex because at your son's age, he is an observational learner and is taking everything in . As long as both parents are spending time with the child, express love, care and support, and do not express negative concerns about the other parent, your child will be fine for the most part. Just keep the lines of communication open and be aware of your son's emotional state at all times.
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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