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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 1st grade son has been making bowel movements in his pants.

Customer Question

My 1st grade son has been making bowel movements in his pants. We took him to the doctor and we learned there is a bit of a medical issue going on (he can't seem to recognize when he has the urge to go). We have him sit on the toilet at regular intervals, yet he still has accidents. The most frustrating thing though, is that he doesn't seem to care about his accidents, he doesn't tell us when he's had one so we end up with pooped underwear that he's been walking around in for hours. We tried a reward system (if you go a whole day with clean underwear you get a treat) which didn't work. Lately, we're trying to focus on the health issues -i.e., if you try to clean yourself but then don't wash your hands, you're getting poop and germs all over the place.

I hate to keep getting angry but we're at a loss as to what to do next. Any advice?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
Hello my friend....My son had the same problem. How often does your son have bowel movements in a given week? Is his diet rich in fruits, vegetables, fiber, and water?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He was constipated prior to going to the doctor. We are now giving him Miralax once a day. He eats fruits, vegetables, fiber, water, milk, etc. - a healthy fiet. What I most need an answer to is how to get him to realize that this is a big deal, that it is not ok to poop in his pants. It doesn't seem to bother him at all. I need him to let us know when he does have dirty underwear so that he's not walking around in it all day.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.
As hard as it may be to believe, your son will not tell you that he has soiled his underwear because he knows that it will upset you. My son is 10 years old now and he had the same problem from about 6-9 years of age. We gave him Miralax in prune juice about every day or every other day. Your son will feels like soiling his underwear is not a big deal. I threw away so many pairs of underwear because I got tired of trying to clean them. What seemed to ultimately help is to leave the issue alone and not focus on it so much. Maturity also has alot to do with changing you son's frame of mind. He will not want to be in 4th, 5th , and 6th grades with dirty underwear. Be patient with your son.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
This answer is not acceptable. He is in first grade now so accepting this for 3 more years in not ok with me. Additionally, what I wanted more of an answer on was how we (as parents) can deal with this. There is a health issue (he is 6 so he does not clean himself as well as needed and gets poop on the floor or leaves it in the tub). How do we relay the importance of germs and being clean without making him feel bad?

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