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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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I have a seven year old boy who has be at my wits end! He

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I have a seven year old boy who has be at my wits end! He is a good boy, but he has a terrible habit of not listening. He has to be told something 3 or more times before he listens. Then he get a terrible attitude because he feels like I'm harping on him. He "knows" everything and is terrible at taking any kind of advice or guidance. He is also beginning to physically lash out when he feels like he isn't being heard. The problem is that I'm hearing him and I explain that. The problem he is arguing something that is ridiculous and I'm having a hard time letting his arguments go. I'm to the point of daily tears, and I feel like him and I are putting a lot of pressure on our relationship. He is difficult to deal with. I love him so much and I dont' want this problem to go any further. I don't know what to do.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Hello my friend. Are you the mom or the dad? Does your spouse help out with discipline? How is your son's behavior at school? How does he relate with his peers? Has he recently started behaving in such a manner? Is his behavior getting worse?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi. I am the mother. My husband works about 90 hours a week. He unfortunately isn't around that often to help with discipline. When my husband is around he is very tough on the kids.
My son does fairly well in school. He occasionally gets lunch detention for chatting too much in class or being too noisy while walking through the halls but nothing the teacher is not too concerned about. His teacher did mention that he is a bit of a class clown.
He relates well with his peers. He is very funny and athletic.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Hello...my friend. Parenting is a learning experience. Unfortunately, our children do not come with directions. It is alright to make mistakes. I get a sense that you are being too hard on yourself and blaming yourself for the way your son has behaves.

 

Tomorrow is a new day...a new beginning. When you discipline your son, the main goal is to teach him rather than to punish him.. When you request that he do something, have him repeat your requests to make sure that he clearly understands what is being asked. If he gets an attitude, you must use an authoritative voice and tell him that his behavior is not acceptable. Additionally, you may need to watch him begin the task that you have requested and keep checking on him until completed.

 

Do not feed into his unhappiness and dissatisfaction when he is being disciplined. The more attention that you give to his negative behavior, the more he will exhibit such unwarranted behavior. When he acts out physically or gets that attitude, make sure that he is not hurting himself or others and then ignore him. He will cease his actions if he does not have an audience.

 

Try focusing more on his positive behavior at home. Really praise him when he is doing the "right things."

 

If things do not seem to be getting better and you are still at your wit's end, ask your son what really makes him happy at home and what things make him sad. Your goal in this exercise is to enable your son to open up to you and express his inner feelings. If he cannot verbally express himself, have him draw a picture of his family. Then have him talk about each member. You may discover that your son has been acting out in the manner in which he does because he misses the relationship with his dad. If your husband works 90 hours a week, is there enough quality time left over to dedicate to your son?

 

I hope these suggestions have provided you with a sense of direction and a clearer understanding of what may be happening.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thank you. Great advice. I guess I knew what I needed to do but being reassured is very comforting. We had a great morning and will continue with your help. I wish there was something I could do to change my husbands work but in this economy that's out of the question. My husband coaches two of my sons basketball teams. I know it isn't much for one on one time but I sure hope it counts in the big picture for my son down the road.
Thanks again!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Glad to hear that your husband is coaching your son's basketball teams. That interaction is wonderful and better than nothing at all. Please let me know how things are going and request Expert4U in your question if you need additional assistance. Have a great day!!!!
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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