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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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I am a mother to a three year old girl conceived with a known

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I am a mother to a three year old girl conceived with a known donor. He has no financial or carer role, yet we both thought it would be good for her to know who he is. In the first two years of her life she was happy seeing her biological father once every three months, however, twelve months ago she decided she didn't want to see him. She's a very happy, well balanced child with many male role models in her life, however I am concerned that i am doing the wrong thing letting her decide not to see her biological father. She is currently very interested in the dynamics of others families and occasionally mentions her father. However I think it is currently overwhelming to her and she is too young to explain the scenario fully...however, ultimately I think she will want some kind of relationship with her father.

On top of this, I am yet to tell her that she has a half brother who is three months older than her as her father acted as a donor to another woman. I haven't told her yet because I want her to understand how she was conceived prior. She would have no contact with this brother in the near future. Having said this, I think that time is coming and I would like some advice on how I should approach this.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 5 years ago.

Hello my friend. If your daughter does not want any more contact with her dad right now, then cease contact. When she starts regular school in Kindergarten and the issues of families and Father's Day comes up, then she may want to begin the relationship again. It will be perfectly fine to wait a while...until Kindergarten The great thing is that she knows about her dad and has met him...so that it is not a big dark secret.

 

With regards XXXXX XXXXX half brother, she is still rather young to understand the complexities of having a half brother that she will not have contact with. She will want to see him and have a relationship with him. With that issue, you can wait a little longer to let her know about that issue...maybe until 2nd grade when she can grasp and process the information a little better.

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