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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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Alot of books say keep communication open with your kids/teens.... etc

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Alot of books say "keep communication open with your kids/teens...."etc but how does one do that when the teens (I have a 16yr old son)don't talk, they grunt when ask questions, spend most of their time in their rooms and most communication is about getting them to do what their suppose to be doing which ends in a little or sometimes big conflict. I feel so disconnected, and sad. I feel like my son even avoids me when possible. I try to be home when he's home just so that he knows that there is a parent around if needed, I try not to pry. I don't know....I just feel like when things are like they are now, this is how you loose your kid.

Hello my friend. Just to ease your worries, teen age boys will be rather quiet quit often. They simply are more into socializing with their friends, playing computer games, and on the internet. You must realize that your son is at an awkward stage of development. He is soon to be an adult and will leave his childhood days behind.


You are exactly correct as to how important communication is at all times but you do not want to seem like the overly inquisitive parent. All you can do is to ask your son questions that do not require simple yes and no answers. When he wants to express himself about something, he will. As for now, give him the space that he needs but make sure that you have a good idea of what he is involved in and who his friends are. A lot of the conversation that you have with him may be one sided with you doing most of the talking. However, that is perfectly fine as long as your son is continuing to be an active listener. Just make sure that most of the talking is not demanding your son to do things or yelling at him about something all of the time.


You are not alone in the way that you feel about your son's quiet and non chalant attitude. In time as he matures and develops, he will become more willing to talk with you. Do not take it personal right now!!!


If you need more advice, please ask. Thank you.

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