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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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my son of 12 is being picked on by another boy on his way

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my son of 12 is being picked on by another boy on his way home from school and when he goes out in the evening the boy lives round the corner about 50 metres away ithink the maybe a bit jealous as my son is near 6 foot and this child isnt even 5 ft could it maybe just a case of picking in the big lad in class i have told my son not hit back or say anything to him and walk away but it started to get tohim, and i dont if he hold out much longer

Hello my friend...Is your son and this other boy in the same grade/class at school? How long has this been going on? Do you know what types of things are being said or done to your son?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

they are in the same year but dont share any class being going on since september 2010 at first it was physical at school and the school dealt with this and i spoke to the boys mother and it was fine for a while but now its verbel and today it got physical i told john not to put his hands on the child but i can see him struggling as he is doing it in front of people

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
how do i proceed now?

Your son may be the victim of bullying. If this other child is also bothering your child at school, contact your child's teacher and/or the administration. It sounds as though the bullying has not been physical but all verbal. However, your son is being picked on in a psychological manner and the emotional abuse can be just as painful as the physical abuse as it has become for your son.

 

Explain to your son that bullies often suffer from low self-esteem and low self-confidence and that it is not your son's fault. Continue to raise your son to be compassionate and not to strike back and to walk away.

 

Since the boy lives in the neighborhood, you may want to confront his parents though very carefully. Just casually mention that your son had mentioned that their son had said....and that this behavior had been occuring for a while. Reiterate how you would like everybody to get along. It is quite possible that the bully's parents are not even that involved in their child's life and development as they should be and that could be the root of the bad behavior. The parents may thank you for letting them know about their son's behavior or they may slam the door in your face. Though either way, the parents will be aware of the problem.

 

Hope this helps. If you need more assistance, let me know!!!



Edited by Expert4U on 2/2/2011 at 12:14 AM EST

Your son seems to be the target of a bully. If the bullying has been happening at school as well, contact your child's teacher and/or the school's administration. Although no physical acts have been involved, your son has experienced psychological harm and the emotional abuse can be just as painful as the physical abuse. Since the boy lives in the neighborhood, you may want to approach his parents but in a very calm and non threatening manner. Just tell them that you were wondering if they were aware that their son was saying (???) to your son and that this type of behavior had been going on for a while. Reiterate that you would just like everyone to get along. The parents may thank you or may slam the door in your face. Either way, the parents will be aware of the problem. It is quite possible that the bully's parents are not involved in their child's life and development as they should be and that could be the root of the problem. In the meantime, continue to teach your son to be compassionate but to always stand up for himself. Tell him how bullies often suffer from low self esteem and low self confidence and that all that has happened is not your son's fault. The other boy may be insecure and simply wants to be accepted by your son but is going about it in the wrong way.

 

Hope this helps. If you need more assistance, let me know!!!

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