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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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hi.I have a difficult situation with my daughter.She is not

Customer Question

hi.I have a difficult situation with my daughter.She is not going to school she is 17 years old she is absolutely disrespectful to us her parents she is not sleeping home she is doing what ever she is want.We are going crease our life is a stress every day we are cannot live normally.She needs a help immediately.Please direct us what we are shoot do. Pareants.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Are you willing to get some assistance from the Department of Juvenile Justice or are you inquiring about treatment options for her? She can still refuse treatment and continue to act this way especially when in a year society will consider her an "adult".

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Dr.Rossi how we are can get assistance from Juvenile Justice she is not a criminal.We are looking for some body ho can talk to her and if it is necessary to provide some treatment for her.Thank you.
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

The Juvenile Justice Dep can provide some feedback on how to handle an unruly teen.

 

If you're seeking treatment options, it would be best that besides individual counseling (if she's willing to engage in that) there is family counseling as well. Her behavior is affecting the rest of the family and even your own reactions to her can be affecting her as well. If she is willing to get therapy, you may explore what options are available from your insurance plan. It would most likely take place at the outpatient level. If you are connected with a church, you may encourage her to talk to the youth minister as well. But, this whole situation has to be approached from a family perspective and not single her out as the "bad apple" Otherwise she will resist and may resent you.

Do you know what she's willing to do?

Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
Dr. Rossi and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She use to go to the nice privet catholic school .She was never been good with study with grades but at least she was in a good hands and every body expect from her good attendance doing home work and passing tests and quizzes on time or when she will be ready.Unfortunately she doesn't have a friends there but school personal always was really nice to her.After she start hang out with that girl and met new kids all of them from some abnormal families she became different.She asking us to transfered her to the public school where she is going to get her GED degree online and right now she is thinking just to get a job.We are not agree and trying to stop her showing that she cant do nothing with out our support. What is gonna be your advise to us.
Thank you
Parents
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

She cannot do a whole lot without your support especially if she financially dependent on you. Even if she is to get a job, does she think that they money she will be getting will be enough for her to live sufficiently and independently? Let her do some research as far as what each job pays, what experience and education she has to have, how much does it cost to maintain a living from having a car, apartment and all living expenses covered.

 

If only has a year or so left to finish school, it may be best that she finishes what she had started. Point out to her that otherwise it is wasting resources and effort.

 

You may suggest to her to speak to a career counselor at her current school. They can help her with objective feedback if she does not believe what you're telling her. You could also present it to her that she could speak to a counselor elsewhere because it does not seem that her plan is a workable one. That she has to look at whether the information is coming from you or someone else.

 

If she relies on you for her car, cell phone, money, etc. you can limit her to only the most essential- food at home, shelter, etc. All other "extras" if you're paying for them ought to be taken away and earned by her even if you use them as a reward for going to and finishing her school..

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Dear Dr.Rossi.We are already pass all explanation to her.Right now is 11 51 she is not home she is not answering on the phone it is mean that again she steels over her friend house who even not going to school and tomorrow she is not going to school again.We are dont know shoot we are going to police and starting looking for her.We are not believe her any more she could be anywhere .We are wan ask you is it any way how you are can contact to her to discus the problem.We are believe that she is just intricate she needs to talk with some body she needs to know that we are love her and we are want to help her.And one more question for you shot we are do some actions against her friends who is offering to her stay over and they are knows about her situation .Thank you Parents
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

The Department of Juvenile Justice can help because from what you've shared, she's an unruly teen/still a minor. If she is not respecting the family rules, she may have to be told by others what to do. There are consequences for unruly teens. Phone the dept of juvenile justice at least to see what assistance they may offer.

 

You may want to talk to the parents of her friends versus to friends themselves. She is not being forced or held against her will at these friend's home- its her choice.

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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi
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4627 Satisfied Customers
Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.