How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 108
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
65591635
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Rafael M.T.Therapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My 42 year old daughter and I butt heads at every family gathering.

Customer Question

My 42 year old daughter and I butt heads at every family gathering. She always starts the show with a few well pointed insults right after my husband and I get off the plane. We tried to talk it out this Christmas but her "turn" consisted as it always does of all the sins I committed as a mother since the day she was born. Her husband is worse. My husband says "never again!", but they are the parents of our only grandchild age 6. I have asked her for her forgiveness so many times over the years I don't know how else to state it. I've spoken to my pastor and to therapists who all say "she has to work these issues out for herself." I am heartbroken as she now says I will never see my grandson again. Please help.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Have you always had issues with your daughter? Is she your only daughter? Are you and her father still together? What is your relationship like with her husband? Is she a good mother? Do you and your daughter relate well to the other family members in general?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I have had issues with my daughter since she was 4 years old when I was required to take her to a child therapist for anger issues as a condition for her to be allowed to stay in preschool. Her issues arose upon the birth of her brother. Their father and I divorced when the kids were 5 and 1 when he became addicted to morphine and other drugs in the early 70's. My relationship with my daughter's husband is not good, although not for lack of trying on my part. The main reason is that he hates his parents, especially his mother and has often said that to my husband and I. My daughter is the sole (and very successful) breadwinner in the family and my 6 year old grandson is primarily being raised by my son-in-law as my daughter's career takes her out of town so often. When she is home, she spoils the little guy rotten giving in to his every whim, but he still is a pretty good kid. My husband and I have been married for over 25 years and he essentially raised my two kids. They relate well to him and vice versa. However after some of things my daughter said this Christmas, she now has severely impaired her relationship with my husband. (Example: "You (me) were happy to get cancer so you could get all that new attention." That didn't set well with my husband.) My daughter and son have a love-hate relationship; sometimes they get along, sometimes they don't. Sibling rivalry has always dominated the issues, but only on my daughter's side. My son says he just leaves her alone until she is restored to sanity. I am a retired attorney and I specialized in juvenile law. I myself counsel parents of troubled teenagers and I am also a retired high school teacher. Which makes this all the more maddening: I have looked for resources but they all seem to deal with how to handle a difficult older mother; not how to deal with a difficult adult daughter.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hold the fort! I was charged before I got an answer back!
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
I will contact the moderators about the issue of already being charged.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HE/heidi1107/2012-2-18_15325_Heidi.64x64.jpg Heidi LPC's Avatar

    Heidi LPC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    Licensed Professional Counselor
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions