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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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I have a 9 year old that does not act 9 she throws fits screams

Customer Question

I have a 9 year old that does not act 9 she throws fits screams yells and often smart mouths back. I am so frustrated at this point I dont know what else to try to get her to stop. Bad thing also is that I have a 3 year old who mocks evrything she does. I need advice on what to try that dont invole whooping her butt.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
How long has your daughter been exhibiting such behaviors? How is her behavior at school? How are her grades at school? What does she for fun with friends? Is she the oldest? When you have enforced the above mentioned consequences, what was your daughter's reaction? What are some activities that she really like to do? Are both parents residing in the house?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Since the split between me and her dad in 2008. Here behavior is fine at school no issues at all. Her grades are so so because she has a communication disorder and learning diability so shes in some special classes. She likes to play dolls with her friends and hang around outside with them. she is the oldest shes 9. after she does something bad or she dont listen the first time. Her reaction to anything that requires disapline is crying like a drama queen loud very loud. and stomping around and sometimes throwing herself on the floor. Its just me and my fiance in the house and her 3 year old brother.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
What specific communication disorder and learning disability does she have?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Math, reading and writing. As well as applying the concept of it. She is at a 2nd grade level according to her teachers.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Has she ever had any formal psychological counseling or processing testing at school?

 

What is her relationship like with her dad?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She was evaluated at school this year and every year before that. She's borderline at learning in 2008 they thought she had ADD but nothing was followed up. She does not like her dad nor does she see him I have a restraining order out and he has no parenting time. Her last visit with him was her 7th birthday he popped up at her cheer practice and triedto start a fight with me and my fiance in in the parking lot while they were in the car
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Your daughter has several issues going on here and I truly believe that further evaluations should be sought. First of all, your daughter may have suppressed negative feelings toward her dad but she brings them out on you. She may not truthfully appreciate the fact that you have a fiance because he is not her dad. She may really be suffering deep down inside with the fact that she may soon have a new "dad" in her life. To ease her frustrations and to ease your worries, I would seek family counseling or individual counseling from a family therapist or a psychologist where all of the feelings and concerns can be addressed on a continuous basis. Secondly, I would ask the school and/or pediatrician to evaluate your daughter further for ADHD or ADD. There should have been a follow up regarding that issue.

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